Table of content
- 1 – Who are you?
- 2 – How to love?
- 3 – What self-love looks like… (coming soon…)
Love is the most discussed emotion; so much content exists about love! But what is it exactly? We will narrow our discussion to three identities of love: love as validation, love as unconditional and love as infinite.
Love is validation
There is no such thing as “tough love”! Love is always validation. So called “tough love” is just a way of merely invalidating and convincing ourselves that we are still being loving because we have intentions.
It’s simple: actions and statements either validate or they invalidate. It has nothing to do with the intentions. No intention can turn an invalidation into validation. That is just the rhetoric of abusers. Love looks like love and it feels like love.
What is validation exactly? It is simply reinforcing, empowering or proving a person or a thing to be correct, good or right. Loving is thus an action that positively affects the object of our love. Being an action, whether physical or verbal, it can be deliberate and done rationally without having to be a movement of passion.
Love is unconditional
Love cannot have any conditions attached to it: otherwise, we simply call it lust. We mistake lust for love when we do not see what the person brings us and think that our attachment is onto the person, and not the object of our lust. Love cannot expect anything in return!
For example, these may be things as simple as a worried mother’s lust for the child’s emotion regulation function: she worries and relies on the child to calm her down, mistaking the lust for emotional regulation for attachment to the child. It is in fact what the child brings to the mother that is the source of the attachment.
What passes for self-love is often simply lust for the things we can get ourselves by “taking care” of ourselves. Some take pride in their intelligence and fake loving themselves until they act stupid once and then spiral down into a frenzy of self-hate. Who loves themself for their intelligence is not really loving themself. But who simply loves their intelligence will not falter in their love because they’ve been stupid once.
Love is infinite
Love knows no bounds! It is on a higher plane of existence than any other emotion. First and foremost, love is an emotion that doesn’t take seat in the body, but rather in the soul. Love that takes seat in the body is in fact just infatuation.
Love is not a physical emotion, even though it can have effects on the body. Love comes gives logical loops that shortcircuits rationality. It is new neuronal electrical pathways caused by a movement of the soul that causes the physical effects of love.
Love lying in the metaphysical parts of the individual allows it to be unquantifiable, and infinite. Every other emotion rely on physical matter, be it electro-chemical signal, hormones, stimuli, etc. to be effective. Love is the only emotion that requires simply our consciousness/soul/mind to work its effects. That is what allows it to go on infinitely.
Conclusion
So we have that love is validating, by constantly positively reinforcing someone or something, without any condition, nor any limit to how much we can do it. Loving is very much like being a hardcore fan(atic) of a person or a thing. Being a movement of the soul, it can be deliberate, as it does not require biophysical basis for its effectivity. Loving is very much choosing to stand up for the object of our love.